Kakashi's wisdom
by baralani
Summary: In the aftermath of Asumas death, Shikamaru seeks out another Jonin for advice
1. Chapter 1

Kakashi's wisdom

I do not own Naruto…Shikamaru and Temari are my second fave anime couple that never was…

XXXKAKASHIXXX

I lay in that warm soft bed, the one I use so often that it practically molds around my body. That petite chirping and warmth of a tiny sun ray leaking through my window compel me to lazily, half way open my uncovered eye.

That smell of iodine, old blood, and bleach really brings back some great memories. I have spent a lot of time in hospitals, ever since I gained the sharingan. I love the peace and the quiet and the …sponge baths by those cute nurses in training. Though the nostalgia is somewhat ruined by the fact that this time around they've restricted me to a completely liquid diet.

[knock knock

Ah is it bath time already? "Enter!"

As I slowly turned towards the door in anticipation of that new nurse I had seen earlier that day, yes the one I was hoping would be giving me a sponge bath, I blinked a few times in response to the face of the shinobi that stood in the doorway.

"Shikamaru! What are you doing here?"

XXXSHIKAMARUXXX

I stood outside that door with my hands in my pockets and my head down running through what I was going to say. This had seemed like a good idea when I left my cloud watching rooftop a few minutes ago. Aww how troublesome this would be. As I slowly turned to shuffle away from that door, I sensed a tiny burst of chakra. What a drag, he's awake, I guess I better go in since he'll probably notice my chakra soon anyway.

I rapped on the doorway with as minimal effort as possible and slid open the door to his invitation. It did amuse me slightly to see the surprise and then disappointment wash across his face in waves. I mean who was he expecting that noisy little nurse that showed me to his room?

"Oi how are you feeling" I said from the safety of the doorway.

"Still can't move my arms or legs" he replied with a hint of a crooked smile beneath that mask.

"Listen, I need to ask your advice about…intervillage shinobi relations"

XXXKAKASHIXXX

He was squirming in the doorway, and I swore I could see a bead of sweat forming on his brow? This must be something important for him to so obviously lose his cool like that. I mean why is he so nervous, I'm sure he's already run through this conversation 200 times in his head. Hmm this might be more interesting than that sponge bath I was hoping for.

"By intervillage shinobi relations do you mean the sharing of knowledge, skills and information between hidden villages…or does your question have something more to do with that saucey sand kunoichi who has been following you all over Konoha."

"She doesn't follow me all over the village, I'm her guide …. !#$ it ….its a mission!" he habitually responded while briskly turning a bright shade of red. "Forget it, I'll see you later" he retorted and slowly spun around.

"Stop…you came all the way over here…that seems like a lot of extra effort for you. Why don't you just ask me what you wanted to ask."

With his back still turned to me he muttered "Is it worth it?"

XXXSHIKAMARUXXX

I couldn't talk to my dad…he'd laugh and then probably make some comment about Ino's dad owing him again for the bet he just lost. Mom would have been even worse. Kurenai was also off limits, her wounds were too fresh. I think I know what Asuma would have told me had I inquired sooner, but I needed another sounding board. That's when Kakashi came to mind, I mean he's next in line for Hokage, he must have some wisdom …despite all the complaining Sakura and Naruto do about him.

I almost choked when he made that comment about Temari, and quickly tried to hide in the shadow the door was casting. If the warmth rushing into my ears was any indication, I'm sure I had just given away my intentions. Aww man this really wasn't worth it, I'm giving up. But, just before I escaped, he called out to me, coaxing me back.

The words that had plagued me during my cloud watching spilt out before I could catch them…"Is it worth it?"

After what seemed like an eternity, he calmy replied. "You already know the answer to that question genius, you're just not able to accept it because of the loss you've just experienced" .

"This is the first time you've lost someone important to you isn't it? Well get over it, cause it won't be the last" he bluntly said.

"I realize that, and I'm getting over it…its just I've been thinking about Kurenai and what she's going through …and Temari …she's becoming more and more precious to me...and these feelings I have for her are beginning to invade every thought, motivation, dreams even. If things keep going the way they are going, she'll take over me completely and once that happens …If I loose her..." Again those words poured out without warning.

XXXKAKASHIXXX

The Chuunin had finally stepped away from the doorway into my room and then started to babble and to pace …two characteristics very unusual for him and probably something he unconsciously picked up from Temari. I could tell his mind was running at light speed and recognized that really this was the weakness of every genius…overthinking!

"Nara! Sit down you're making me tired just watching you" He shot me a look of irritation for a second before slowly pulling a chair from the wall, flipping it around and sitting in it, chin casually leaning atop the back of the chair.

"Have I ever told you about my intervillage shinobi relations?" I asked with a smirk.


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own Naruto.

I will try to fix my transgressions in this chapter (ie make it a bit longer, improve my grammer, and have less oocness). Also sorry, ended up not having much S and T in this one…be patient with me, I have to set it up right.

XXX SHIKAMARUXX

"Have I ever told you about my intervillage shinobi relations?" He asked with a smirk.

Well, I have to admit I had my suspicions. While Asuma was alive, I'd occasionally catch him in conversation with Kakashi. They spoke in code but it was obvious most of the time they were talking about women, man it was completely tiresome. Although honestly I have to admit I was always curious about "Lucious" since that name inevitably resulted in furious blushing and strange giggling from the duo. Interestingly, these conversations usually ended with Asuma saying something like "well, I guess leaves just can't compare to clouds" to which Kakashi responded by gazing off into the distance. The remembrance of those comments are what ultimately got me off my back and into this room today.

XXXKAKASHIXXX

I thought I'd get more of a rise out of that statement, but he didn't really respond at all, just looked bored like he usually does. Man he's no fun. I waited before going on, trying to gauge whether or not the boy would stay awake to listen. After a minute or so, he cocked his head towards me and I took this as an invitation to continue.

"During my time in ANBU, Konoha's relationship with the other hidden villages was … strained. When visiting other villages we were often treated poorly if not outright maliciously and because of that we were told to minimize unnecessary interactions with other villages and villagers. Back then our treatment in Cloud was the worst, since we had recently miserably beaten them when they broke the peace treaty. In fact it was not uncommon for ninja to disappear without a trace when near the Cloud."

A flash of anger entered his eyes at that last statement. "We didn't have evidence to charge them for the abductions or other misdoings, and we were trying to maintain peace, so there were some things we ignored. It was a very politically charged time." I commented.

"Anyway, the third had sent me on a solo mission to capture or kill a missing nin who was selling information about our village. Tracking him brought me dangerously close to the Cloud and in my haste to neutralize him while before reaching that border, I used up more chakra than intended. After watching my target fall, I knew I was in trouble when the trees started spinning?"

Was he rolling his eyes at me? That brat… he's got ever lower chakra reserve than I do.

XXXSHIKAMARUXXX

Kakashi suddenly stopped and looked up… what's with that irritated expression.

"Do you need a break or something, are you too tired?" I replied.

"Hmmph….I do NOT need a break." He quipped glaring at me before continuing his story. "Anyway, where was I? When I finally came to, I found myself in a damp, windowless room that smelt of old blood, iodine, and bleach. I took in my surroundings, contemplating ways to escape this prison. Suddenly two burly men in white came barging in, I steeled myself for what I thought would be a major beating when suddenly they stopped and I noticed they were dragging a large metal plate on wheels behind them.

'Why are we even bothering?' asked the one with the crooked nose. 'Orders, orders…do you want to tell her you refuse?' replied the other. 'Alright, ready, one, two.' They chimed in unison.

I was abruptly hoisted into the air and dropped onto that cold metal plate. They ushered me through an empty gray hallway. I recall the ceiling was flanked with blinking fluorescent lighting … and then we entered an elevator.

When the elevator opened, I appeared to be in an entirely different place. The hallway here was a calming baby blue, and I immediately heard laughter and the chatter of a group of women. 'Where does this one go? the crooked nose asked. 'The new patient? Place him in 307' a feminine voice icily replied. "

"You were in a hospital then huh?" I commented.

XXXKAKASHIXXX

"It doesn't take a genius to figure that out…please stop interrupting me" I flatly said.

"…Sorry. Please go on." He said with that usual bored look.

"They placed me in a private room, it was small, but clean and had a large window through which I could see the tip of the kumokage's tower.

'I'm sorry about the mix-up, they placed you in the basement without telling me. I only found out you were there during this mornings medical rounds.'

I slowly turned towards the sound of that voice and found its source to be a petite kunoichi, that I gauged to be about 18 years old, wearing a white coat two sizes too big for her. Besides her size, there really wasn't anything very noticeable about her.

'They reflexively put enemy ninja in that room, but Cloud and Konoha are no longer at war so there is no reason for you to be there. Please forgive our rudeness. ' She said with a bow.

I replied to that statement with a grunt and quickly turned away. Good ninja/bad ninja was a commonly incorporated interrogation tactic and I assumed this one was the good ninja. I wasn't going to fall for it. Though it was smart of them to utilize such a weak looking ninja for that role. I heard her close the door and waited for the bad ninja.

Turns out they were all the bad ninja. Despite the move to a nice room, I was not humanely treated. Now, I wasn't straight out beaten, but the accidental expired anesthesia before a painful procedure, food with bite marks and who knows what else, dirty bedding and other similar events were their ways of telling me they didn't like, trust or care. Though in reality, I was expecting this. And yet…"

XXXSHIKAMARUXXX

He looked away for a second…I recognized that expression. It was the same far away expression he'd have when talking with Asuma.

Then he continued. "The good ninja continued to play her role very well. In truth the time I spent with her was more torturous than with any of the others. She was in fact a medical nin and I was one of her assigned patients. Thus she came frequently and employed tactics like leaving melon rolls by my bedside, and bringing new, warm blankets. She even performed tasks that weren't her responsibility like changing my bandages, and bathing me, all the while smiling at me...not that fake Sai type smile…but what seemed like a real warm and compassionate smile. I remember thinking that she was damn good at this role. That dismissive, cold front I had put up weakened in her presence. It was so frustrating to think that I could fall for such a unoriginal psychologic attack. I worked doubly hard to show her that her good ninja act wasn't working: I ignored, yelled, growled…I even spat at her once. …but all that didn't phase her and she didn't change how she treated me."

"You spat at her!" I yelled

"She was torturing me, that was my defiant act." He said so matter of factly. "Anyway, what did I say about interruptions? Right? So all the while I was slowly getting my energy back. One day she was bathing me like she always did … with such gentleness …she used to transfer some of her chakra into the sponge …I've never experienced quite a bath like that. It was like…"

He began to develop a weird look in his eyes talking about that sponge bath. "Kakashi, please it's troublesome to hear about the details of the bath." I exclaimed attempting to get him back on track.

XXXKAKASHIXXX

The boy was a bit flushed. Hmm, maybe his relationship with Temari isn't as innocent as I presumed, he's imagining things I didn't think he was familiar with yet.

I continued with "I was going to say, before you interrupted, that it was like jumping into a clear mountain stream after working in the fields after a hot sunny day. What's with that look, I did my share of D rank missions as a child Shikamaru, I know what working in a field is like. "

I was about to go on when I noticed he was snickering. I gave him an inquiring look and he responded with, "I'm sorry I just got this visual picture of you picking sweet potatoes at age three, weren't you a jonin by like age six."

I glared…"It was chunin at age six, jonin at age thirteen. Anyway, while she was finishing up the bath, I snapped, I couldn't take it anymore. I sat up and grabbed her wrist, knocking over the warm soapy water … I remember thinking that some must have splashed on my face because I could feel the warm liquid there.

' Are you in pain? I don't remember you having a wound there. Did someone here give you a new injury?' she quickly looked up with concerned eyes…. ' I'm sorry, I'll stop, so please … stop crying.' I remember being shocked by the revelation that I was crying? All I could muster in response was ' Why?'

Her expression instantly calmed. Wide eyed, I just stared at her in disbelief, and let her go. It was then that I noticed the red welt around her wrist, I hadn't realized that I had gripped her that hard. She quickly cleaned things up and headed out. Before quietly closing the door, she whispered 'Because you're human too, I value you.' "

XXXSHIKAMARUXXX

I tried to listen carefully, who knew this old guy was such a chatterbox, man this is the last time I'm coming to him for advice. I started tuning him out when he made that revelation. Tears? The great copy ninja in tears?

Because you're human…that sounded familiar. She said something similar to me the day of that fated failed mission didn't she.

I looked straight at him in sudden realization. "That's when you realized you loved her wasn't it."


	3. Chapter 3

I do not own Naruto. Sorry for skipping over some details in this one, I'm trying to minimize the oocness and get to the Shika-tema interaction.

XXXKAKASHIXXX

He suddenly looked straight at me, with the look he gets the minute he knows he's beat you at shoji, and said. "That's when you realized you loved her wasn't it."

Huh? This genius has already realized it.

"I didn't know it." I quietly said. " I didn't know… why my heart felt so heavy, why I was so restless when she wasn't there, why my thoughts and dreams were infected by her. I tried to convince myself that she was playing the good ninja role, or perhaps had cast some type of genjustsu . But, her honest kindness kept infecting me. When I was cleared to leave the hospital, but not yet fit for travel ; she offered me the extra room in her apartment… knowing I wouldn't be able to find lodging elsewhere in Cloud. I accepted. Don't get any funny ideas, I was a complete gentleman…we ate meals, did chores, and underwent some light training."

I chuckled in remembrance. "Man she was a crappy ninja. As a medical nin her chakra control was top notch, but she was way too tenderhearted, and she wouldn't channel her complete power to her punches. What she was exceptionally good at was making me feel completely safe and peaceful in her presence. Initially I tried to remain distant and cold, but at the end of our time together I was completely taken by her. It unnerved me to feel so vulnerable, and I left without a goodbye. When I arrived in Konoha, I told myself it would be better to never see her again. "

XXXSHIKAMARUXXX

Usually I'd be bored out of mind by now, but his story struck a chord... my Temari was definitely no crappy ninja, but I knew what it meant to feel unnerved by a woman…not that I would ever admit that. I fought the sleepiness that always overtakes me when I have to listen to someone speak for THIS long, and tried to give Kakashi my best interested look.

He continued with, " I didn't understand until reaching Konoha how difficult it would be to escape her." I looked at him quizzically and he laughed before continuing. "She had completely changed how I looked at life, she changed what I wanted out of life. I had lived and suceeded as a ninja, but now I yearned to live and succeed as a man. I'd stop to pick up a flower on the road just because I liked it, or drag my lunch hour out to two to savor the flavor. I remember the day Asuma attacked me because he thought someone had replaced me. We were sitting on the rooftop of Hokage tower watching this unbelievable sunset when he looked over to me and nearly fell off. Apparently, I was crying."

" Oh brother are you serious. Geez and she calls me a crybaby." I muttered under my breath.

He curtly replied with, "Shikamaru, by your age I had already lost everyone I loved; my father, my teammates, my teacher. At that time, ANBU required us to throw out everything that was considered a weakness: our emotions, attachments, vices, etc. I am largely the ninja I am today, because of that…and I still believe that if one's only goal is to become an unbeatable ninja…it is the only way to attain that. What I didn't realize was that even though I was becoming a great ninja …I was at the same time throwing away my humanity. Until I met her, that part of me wasn't valued. After I met her, it became most important."

"So those tears were you mourning the loss of your humanity? I get it, enough commentary get on with the story." I impatiently stated.

"Nah genius that's where you're wrong. They weren't tears of grief or sadness, but tears of joy. Shikamaru, she didn't make me realize I'd lost my humanity, she reminded me of it. She showed me that life, love, or joy can never be experienced to the fullest, if you push away all the things we as ninjas consider 'weak'. I found that I couldn't return to life as it was before. Now don't get me wrong, I didn't abandon the ninja code, I just … sought a balance. It was then that I realized I didn't want to let her go, and I that I was willing to do anything to ensure she was always a part of my life. "

"Okay, good story … now why haven't I ever heard of her before? She must not visit Konoha often?" I drawled.

"Well we were forced to part ways… she passed away. " He quietly stated. Shaking his head, he continued with, "I was sure I was never going to recover from that. But instead of pushing away my grief as I had done with everyone I lost before, I gathered up the courage and lived through it. At the end of that period of grieving, instead of her becoming a boxed up memory, she remained as a living part of my soul. Even today, she's remains my center. I guess you could say she is my souls' home. While at times I feel the pain of her loss…I can't do medical jutsu for that reason… I mostly know the peace and comfort that her presence provided. You know Shikamaru, loving and living are hard things to do, but undeniably always worth it." He ended.

XXXKAKASHIXXX

I watched the understanding and acceptance settle into his shoulders and then his entire body and thought…it's now or never.

"Would you like to see her picture? I still carry it around with me. It's in my wallet, in the drawer." I said reflecting a smile in my uncovered eye.

He hesitated saying it was too troublesome to walk across the room, but a few seconds later he kage nui'ed the drawer open and flipped over the wallet. I tried to hold in my anticipation and thought to myself…this is going to be good.

XXXSHIKAMARUXXX

I can't believe I'm letting my curiosity get the better of me, I thought as I kage nui'ed the wallet over to myself.

I slowly opened it…"What the HELL!" I angrily exclaimed.

Stayed tuned shikatema goodness coming up


	4. Chapter 4

I do not own Naruto.

XXXKAKASHIXXX

He lazily opened the wallet, then instantly knitted his brow "What the HELL!" he yelled.

"pffft…. heeheeeheeheeeheee..haaahaaahaa, HAAHAAHAA!" Between fits of laughter I explained "That's the love of my life!"

"This is a picture of a blond, buxom, girl wearing three strategically placed …bandaids… and she's doing what looks like… the splits!" He exclaimed as he waved the wallet in front of me.

I couldn't stop laughing, but tried to say this with a straight face, "Oh that's her practicing her sexy no jutsu…when we did get to see each other, we actually had a very active, ahem, well…it's because she loved me of course."

XXXSHIKAMARUXXX

I quickly removed the photo from the wallet and flipped it over, the back read Icha Icha Paradise Collectors Card # 602: Lucious. "Ahh, I should've known when you said you cried because of a sunset!" I grumbled.

"That bit went too far huh. I'll remember to leave that out next time." He spat out between fits of laughter.

"Kakashi you bastard, I'm outta here" I growled as I got off the chair and walked towards the door.

"Oi my wallet!" he bellowed after me.

I tossed that stupid piece of leather over my shoulder and slammed the door.

XXX SHIKAMARUXXX

That baka Kakashi…I admire the tactics he used to get his point across. But did he have to do it at my expense. He could have just told me, 'yes Shikamaru it's worth it.' He really does have a cruel streak…I should've listen to Naruto and Sakura. He was right in saying that I did know the right answer. I knew the moment I laid eyes on her that she had to be mine. I'd never met a kunoichi who moved with such a mesmerizing combination of fierceness and grace. She was terrifying and yet absolutely irresistible. I began considering what strategies I could employ to get her to notice me, but in the end, luck brought us together. I couldn't have predicted my selfish, childish desires would evolve into…alright I admit it…an unconditional, mature love. I had run scenario after scenario in my head trying to decide whether or not to continue to pursue her. Recently I thought, love might just be too troublesome. Regret and disappointment in myself after Asuma's death, provided the nidus for my current state of indecision. Because I couldn't come up with a guaranteed "win" for Temari and I … I wanted to give up completely. Now, thanks to that bastard Kakashi, I realize thinking that way was stupid. As soon as I get home, I'm going to invite her to join me for dinner and take the rest of the day to figure out how best to get my feelings across.

XXXTEMARIXXX

7:10, of course, he is late again. I don't know why I bother trying to be on time when I'm meeting that guy. I should've known that 700 really meant 800. Maybe next time I'll come late and make him wait, I'd bet he would looove that. … … … Aahhh, what's wrong with me today? Usually it doesn't bother me until he's 30 minutes late. I've definitely gotten more tolerant, the more time we sent together. I don't really know when it happened, but somewhere along the line I realized his happiness and his life was more important than mine…no that's not quite right…more like my happiness and my life were dependent on his. I don't know if this is love, but what else could explain these feelings and more importantly how uncharacteristically girly I get when I'm around him. Lately he's been acting distant though-when I'm here we're normally inseparable, but I haven't seen him much at all. In fact he's definitely avoiding me, I mean you'd think a genius could come up with something better than "I can't, I have to help my mom with the laundry". Please does he think I'm an idiot? I thought while I paced in front of our arranged meeting place.

XXXSHIKAMARUXXX

I walked to the restaurant I had told her about and caught her silhouette in the sunset. Man I love the way she moves…look at the those legs, and the way her hips sway, and her teeny little waist and then…uuh ooh better not look there for too long …that always gets me in trouble. Ah she noticed me. Hmm, shes irritated. Gosh she's really adorable irritated, if not I'd probably make an effort to be on time, since her irritation is also paired with some sort of corporal punishment. Gosh she really is something, look at how her lips move in such an enticing way…and her skin is so smooth.

Before I knew it I was reaching for her face when suddenly my arm wouldn't go any further and I looked down to see she was holding onto my wrist.

"Shikamaru..." she said with a tone of annoyance, "What are you doing? I've been calling your name for the last five minutes and you're just standing there staring at me. What's wrong do I have something in my teeth?"

"Uh." I responded.

"Yeah…great comeback…what's with you lately? Come on lets go eat already I'm starved." She said as she let go of my hand and started walking toward the restaurant.

XXXTEMARIXXX

I turned quickly, my heart racing…what was with that look? He's never looked at me so intensely before, and there was something else in that look. Was it sadness, regret, fear? It is weird that he wanted to meet up all of a sudden tonight… Oh god, what if he's realized how I feel about him and is here to give me the "friends talk", or what if he's in love with someone else, or…. Is that why he's been avoiding me? I'm not ready to hear those things yet, I'm not ready to get my heart broken. It wouldn't be able to stand it if I lost him completely.

I brought my sleeve swiftly up to my eyes with those thoughts and wiped away a single hot tear. It doesn't matter, he doesn't matter, I'm a strong kunoichi of the sand …

XXXSHIKAMARUXXX

It was only because I was so intently watching her that I noticed… a tear? "Temari….what's wrong" I called out. She whirled around and glared at me.

"What I'm just really hungry." She quipped back.

Before I could stop myself…I grabbed her shoulders…and brought her close. I tipped her face up to me and saw the silvery residual of a tear. I gently touched her cheek below that tear stain as I looked down on her face. Oh man, this was no good, every time we got this close I wanted to grab her and embrace her and tell her how amazing she was.

"Ah … must have been dust huh?" I let go of her face, took a step back and looked away, trying to hide the blush I knew was there.

She replied with "Um yeah, whatever, let's get dinner."

XXXTEMARIXXX

I couldn't calm the restlessness I felt … who was this weird acting Shikamaru? Maybe he's a replacement? Is that idiot Naruto playing a joke on me? Nope that chakra signature is definitely Shika…I mean I memorized it the day he beat me at the Chunin exams…there's no mistaking it. I thought as we were led to our table. Oh what a great table! I love sitting outside for a meal in Konoha…it wasn't too cold tonight yet. Hmm everything on this menu sounds really good. Yum, teriyaki chicken!!! I think I'll order a glass of wine too…I mean I feel really wound up. Probably because I missed out on a training session today…I've got all this pent up energy.

XXXSHIKAMARUXXX

Througout the meal, we kept conversation light, and I watched her begin to unwind. She's been really tense lately, especially tonight. What was with that? I lost track of our conversation a few times because I'd kept thinking about what I really wanted to accomplish tonight…good thing I can always recover with a "troublesome". It was a nice dinner, I mean I this place came with Ino's not Chouj's recommendation (meaning quality over quantity). I have to say, I love eating meals with her, it really sweet how she always savors her food and it is sooo cute the way her eyes get big and excited when she looks at a dessert menu. Even though, I can never get her to admit how much she loves chocolate.

"Shikamaru ….eh…Gaara's sister! What are you guys doing? On another date? " Yelled a familiar, loud, and annoying voice.

I turned towards the direction of that blond idiot walking down the road. He waved as he walked; and then I noticed a bright red Hinata following a few steps back.

"As a matter of fact we are, so don't bother us." I simply said. CLAANG! Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Temari had dropped her spoon.

Naruto's mischievous look was replaced by a huge wide grin. "Finally, I mean we've all known you've both been in love with each other for like forever. Well sorry to bother. Come on Hinata we don't want to be late for the midweek special at Ichiraku's. Didn't you tell me you love naruto fishcake in your ramen?" He grabbed her fidgety hands and began dragging her off.

That poor girl…she just had to fall for the dumbest, densest guy in Konoha. Something like this happened every time she made an effort to confess.

XXXTEMARIXXX

Did he just say what I think he said? I thought as I watched Naruto and Hinata rush away. He turned back to me with a glint in his eye…that confident look he gets …just before he's makes the move that ends the game at shoji.

"Date? You didn't say this was a date." I said trying to sound irritated, as I picked up my spoon and erased the shock from my face.

"Well, what else do you call it when a guy asks a girl out for dinner and she says yes?" He matter of factly said. Before giving me that intense look again.

"Um , right, of course." I stammered. Thank goodness for the dim lighting out here…I'm sure I had turned just as red as HInata in response to that stare.

"Hnn… great comeback." He retorted paying me back for my earlier statement. "Hey, you've stopped eating that cake a long time ago and now you're just torturing it. Let's get out of here."

"Shut up." I said as I quickly stuffed the remainder of the gooey chocolate cake into my mouth.

He laughed in response and got up from the table, turning towards the exit. Stopping a step away from me, he thrust his hand back and calmly said "Come on you silly woman, I have something to show you."

Yes there is a fishcake called naruto…it's spirally because I think they mix 2 different kinds of fish meat and roll it up like a jelly roll. I've eaten it in ramen.

Finally I got to the shikatema part!


	5. Chapter 5

I do not own Naruto

XXXTEMARIXXX

I stared at that large, worn, hand for what seemed like an eternity before I stood up and slowly placed my own in it. It felt so warm. He looked at me when I did that…there was that look again.

"Don't' worry." He gently said with that tired smile of his. "You're safe."

He didn't have to tell me something I already knew. In fact, I've always felt safe in this man's presence. Even when I was saving his life. I had never been accepted, and valued for me…Temari …until I met him. Of course he knew my merits…though he didn't always appreciate them… but he also knew my weaknesses. Despite that he never ran away, and he always protected me. From the moment we first met, he's been protecting me. He protected my pride at the Chunin exams. He protected my reputation when Gaara caught us embracing in that hospital corridor, by saying he was the initiator. That was the evening we returned from that failed "save Sasuke" mission I think. More amazingly, he then talked Gaara out of killing him by saying the hug was a pure reflex of relief at hearing his friends would live. Of course, he protected my life on that mission to save Matsuri. Even during my trips to Konoha, he protected me: my time, my space, my belongings…well I put them near him for safekeeping when I train and he naps. He even protects my … heart. Hey, was that why he was avoiding me? Was he trying to protect my heart? Had he been aware of my growing feelings and was keeping some emotional distance between us?

That thought finally gave me the courage to ask. "Shika, have you been avoiding me?"

XXX SHIKAMARUXXX

Oh so she noticed huh. Man and I thought I was doing such a good job, always having a ready, believable excuse. "About that Tema-chan, I'm sorry. " I said back. She looked so worried, and maybe scared? What was she thinking?

"Oh well okay…wait…Tema…chan?" She replied with one brow raised suspiciously towards me.

I chuckled…"It suits you don't you think?" She really was so cute.

"Uh … no it doesn't…and you can't call me that, remember I'm older than you. It should be Tema-senpai, or Tema-sama, or Tema-shacho" She said teasingly.

" Hnnn, that's what you think huh? Well, you are older than me, but you're also much cuter. So I think Tema-chan is perfect." I reasoned back. She still looked unconvinced so I continued with ," I guess if you don't like Tema-chan, I could call you Tema-chi, or Tema-hime. Or maybe I'll just call you my cute, little kitty." I sang back.

I didn't have to turn to know she had just blushed furiously…her hand had suddenly gotten very warm. "T-t-tema-chan is fine." She relented as we continued to walk in the cool evening. This was nice, the feel of her small but strong hands in mine. They fit perfectly together, I thought as I squeezed her hand slightly.

XXXTEMARIXXX

"What is with you tonight, you're in rare form." I inquired. He really was not acting like his usual bored, lazy self. Though I was still confused as to what he was doing? He'd been giving me mixed messages all week. First he avoids me, then he tells Naruto we're on a date, then he practically forces me to hold his hand, and now he's calling me Tema-chan? He must be drunk. "Did you drink some of my wine when I left the table?" I inquired.

" No I'm not drunk. I'm just…enlightened." He said looking at me again with an undecipherable expression. He turned to look ahead and tugged my hand saying "Hurry, we're almost there."

We finally reached our target destination… our cloud watching spot. It was a quiet patch of grass and wildflowers with just a little bit of tree-covering. Proximity to the forest protected this place from the wind and also brought calming sounds of crickets and birds. The grass here was softer than anywhere I had ever been and we'd spend hours of the day here in silence just enjoying the company and the atmosphere. Though confusion swept over me as to why he was so eager to get me here. We were always here, it wasn't anything special. "I don't get it, Shika this is our…"

"I know," he softly interrupted, "But we've never looked at the stars from here…come on." He lead me towards a different patch of grass a bit farther away from the forest. He plopped down on the grass and tucked his hands under his head. Turning, he gestured for me to join him.

I followed suit and laid down a little closer than I usual do…hey, it was starting to get cold. I looked up and saw dozens of stars dancing in the evening. The moon was just a sliver tonight and the stars truly popped out of that inky blackness. "It's breathtaking" I breathily said.

He stirred next to me and I turned to see that he had propped himself up on his side and again was staring at me. "Temari, I'm sorry." He said with a touch of regret in his voice and pain in his eyes.

"Shika, you already apologized for avoiding me this trip, forget it." I responded before turning back to the stars, thinking he'd be grateful that I wasn't demanding an explanation.

"I'm sorry for everything else. For denying how I really feel about you, for taking so long to make a decision about what I want, for thinking for even a second that it would be too troublesome…" he suddenly blurted with a catch in his throat.

I interrupted with, " Okay, okay you're forgiven. Stop with all this super, touchy-feely emotional stuff already." I needed him to stop…if he continued… I was going to say or do something really embarrassing.

XXXSHIKAMARUXXX

I chuckled and said…"Aw man, that's another thing I love about you…so not emotionally high maintenance." Oh !$, did I just say… love…I wasn't planning on dropping that word yet.

She looked over at me at sound of that word, her eyes wide with surprise as she surveyed my now very red face. She then squinted her eyes as she coyly said, "Hnnnh, really, well what else do you LoOOoVE about me Nara-san."

She propped herself on her side too, in order to face me completely. She then proceeded with this gaze that Kiba calls the "come hither" look. She used this, usually paired with some kind of seductive touch, when trying to embarrass me in front of the guys. This time though, there was no one around but us. I felt a shiver run down my spine curling my toes as I began to focus on those plump and round…lips. She gently turned my hand over and began to trace little circles into the palm. Although I liked that she was so close to me, I was caught off guard by her sudden forwardness. I couldn't tell if she was joking around like usual, or if this was different. Uh, oh if this keeps up, I'm going to be in trouble really soon. As she began to walk her fingers up my arm, I begged her, "Temari, please stop, when you're this close… Why do you think I've been avoiding you this trip. Last time you were here, you were so familiar and … close, I could barely breathe."

"Haahaahaa…You're too easy sometimes Shika." She guffawed as she lay back down to enjoy the stars.

When I could think clearly again, I noticed she appeared content and peaceful. The restlessness and worry I had noticed lately had completely been replaced.

She turned her face toward me again and asked "Aren't you going to enjoy the stars? It's such a great view tonight. Who knew a cloudless sky would be this beautiful huh?"

I smirked in response to that. I mean sure the stars were beautiful, but I definitely preferred THIS view. She rolled her eyes at me when I made no effort to change my position and went back to watching the stars.

XXXTEMARIXXX

We'd probably been there half an hour or so before a rare north wind began to blow through the clearing. I cursed myself for not bringing my jacket…well it looked funny over the kimono. A quick shiver ran through my body.

"Tema-chan, come here …" he said and I saw that he had propped himself up on a large nearby rock. I got up and walked over to him. He lightly touched my hand …"You're so cold." He pulled me next to him and wrapped his arms around me. "Is that better? Or do you want to go back?" He asked.

"It is better, and no Shika, let's stay here for a bit more." I told him, all the while thinking that I never wanted to leave here, I never wanted to leave his arms. "Shika." I timidly started "this is one of the things I love about you…how you always protect me."

He stiffened at that word and I imagined a similar look of shock had swept across his face as it did mine. "Now you've done it Temari, I'm no longer responsible for what I do to you tonight." He said with a gleam in his eyes.

"Oh I'm not too worried." I replied. "I can still kick you if I want to." Well that was a lie, but I knew he'd never hurt me. Plus I have to admit I was curious to see what he would be trying to do. Being this close to him and being so vulnerable was definitely awakening desires I had fought to suppress.

He laughed again, "Tema-chan, you really are the only one for me… Stay with me forever." He pleaded as he drew me closer guiding my head to his shoulder.

I looked at him, again surprised by how open he was being. "Shika-kun, all you had to do was ask." I replied with a smile.

XXXSHIKAMARUXXX

We sat there in the moon and starlight for hours. Eventually she moved so that her back was up against my chest and I could embrace her more completely. She claimed it was because it was warmer than sitting side by side. Whatever, I was just glad there was more contact. As the night had gone on, I had a growing need to feel and know her more intimately, so this was making me one happy man. Though, I doubted I could get farther than this tonight, because she did flash me this look of warning when I "accidentally" brushed my hand up against….well.

"Shika, what are we going to do about the distance, more importantly what do I do about my brothers?" She anxiously asked breaking the silence.

"I'll deal with your brothers." I told her. "And about the distance… we'll manage."

That seemed to reassure her, as silence overtook us again and we enjoyed just being there together. I had taken her hair down a while ago, since her ponytails kept poking me and was currently enjoying the smell and feel of her soft hair on my nose and cheeks. I nudged the crook of her neck with my nose and noticed her pulse had fallen in sync with mine. As I moved my arms to hold her even tighter I whispered into her ear…

XXXTEMARIXXX

"Tadaima." He whispered while nestling into my neck with his nose.

I reached up to touch his encircling arms, and leaned further into his embrace replying " Okaerinasai."

All endings are honorifics…for the ones you may not be too familiar with, shacho basically means boss and hime means princess and chi is an affectionate "little"

In Japan , tadaima is said upon entering someones home and it means "I'm home"…while okaerinasai means "welcome home".


	6. Chapter 6

I do not own Naruto

XXXKAKASHIXXX

After enjoying a really good laugh I slowly drifted back to sleep and was awoken by a soft knock at the door. "Enter!" I responded.

"Kakashi –sama, it's time for you bath." She shyly stated.

I secretly celebrated the fact that yes, it was the cute one from this morning. I watched her bend over to pick something up from the ground. Man someone up there must really love me!

"Your wallet's on the ground, and a picture fell out of it. She's really cute, is she your girlfriend." She asked while showing me the tattered picture.

…small frame, dark hair, white coat. "Ah well, she was." I said as my heart skipped a beat.

"I'm sorry, what happened? She must still be important to you if you carry her photo around still" She inquired as she got the sponge wet.

"She passed a long time ago…she was healing a captured enemy nin and he killed her trying to escape. That woman, really was just too sweet, and kind hearted to be a ninja. Just like you Aka-chan." I playfully said.

"Ah, well then let's start your bath." She stammered, blushing a cute shade of pink.

As I settled in to enjoy the rest of my sponge bath, I shook my head in remembrance of that woman…too crappy a ninja and too decent of a human for her own good. Yet she remains the only ninja capable of disarming me completely, I thought. But, I'm glad we met, I'm thankful for our time together, …tadaima.

END!


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